No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
