Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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