so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
