He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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