Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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