Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize