If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize