I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
