I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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