is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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