What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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