i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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