I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
