What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
