He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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