The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
