the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
