dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
