So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
high people should be assigned attendants
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
