Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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