Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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