You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
