You're completely useless in the revolution.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I love you. Go after that dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
