It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
