actually, I'm a sock model
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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