She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
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It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Will exercising make me less horny?
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