i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize