i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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