there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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