Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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