oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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