if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
