Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
