She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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