I want to stick my p in your. b.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
