whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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