1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
