Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
