But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
