i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
