How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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