is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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