Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
