bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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