Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She's the barista slut.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
