Me. At least after what I've been through.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize