You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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