check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
