can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
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it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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