Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
