Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
