It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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