The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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