I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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