I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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