May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
