I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
