did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
