He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
