I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
