one might say we're banned from that church
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
