Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
